Recipe for change – D x V + F >R

How to run a bed and breakfast business when you know that you need to make some changes.

Our level of resistance to facing the thing that we know needs to change, indicates the level of urgency to which we need to do it.  The more the resistance, the more urgent it becomes.

The soul – that part of us that is divine, eternal, out of this world is for expansion.  It’s like the oak tree who never decides not to grow, it just grows and expands until it dies.

This is the soul.  It wants to grow and expand until it leaves our bodies, then it will grow and expand in another form.

When we reach out for “help” or we’re “just curious” – that is our soul whispering “yes, let’s expand”  And so the opportunity is right there in that moment for us to take the leap.

Then the discomfort of being faced with an opportunity to leap into the next version of ourselves, the next level of income, the new relationship, the new body, the new “you” is right there for the taking

Then the “human” part of us jumps right in and starts talking us out of it.  It’s not the right time, it’s too expensive, I can’t afford that, I need to ask permission, get approval, this doesn’t make sense etc. etc.

Then others will join in, and the voices of their opinions will drown out anything we ever thought we wanted or desired

The voices,  internal and external,  become so loud and so convincing that the voice of the soul can no longer be heard.

And so we slip right back into the same state we were in before we reached out for “help”

And the discomfort subsides

Phew!  That was close

I almost said “yes”

And then nothing changes

Until the next time we feel the call of the soul to expand

And this sequence of events repeats itself

We reach out for “help” again…

It takes courage to break this cycle

It takes a belief in ourselves that we are actually worth it

That our dreams and desires actually matter

It takes being able to take a stand for what we want and no longer tolerating what we have, no matter how good that might look to others

It takes risking something

I recently met international coach and speaker, Ian Dickson at an event in the UK and he gave me his recipe for change, which is this:

D = Dissatisfation with the way things are – I’m talking massive dissatisfaction here, not just an irritation.

Multiplied by

V = Vision for what you actually do want to create, like really really want.  It could be just the opposite of what is happening right now, and that’s a great place to start


F = Being willing to take the first step and trusting in the process of change.  Without taking the first step, nothing will change, because change depends on action.  Thinking about change won’t change anything.

Must be

>R = Greater than your Resistance.  Resistance only shows up when change is possible.  It’s the friction that creates the motivation, like the friction between the road and the tyres.  When the wheel moves, the tyres create friction with the road.  Movement = friction

There’s a lot of talk around about motivation, but I believe that it’s only the extreme dissatisfaction that creates the motivation.  People don’t change of their own free will.  Either something internal or external forces them to change.

For me, the house in which we were living, in the UK caught fire and left us homeless.  We moved into a caravan – no change

We moved back to France, and the gas was cut off – we started boiling water to wash – no change

The bailiffs knocked on the door to foreclose (repossess) our French home – that was it!  Massive change

I'd love know your thoughts on this, so please do leave a comment below

Wishing you love and happiness always

Yvonne x

how to run a bed and breakfast





Yvonne Halling helps you to run a bed and breakfast business in the 21st century, using the internet, online marketing and fun. She will help you to spot and unlock the opportunities in your business.  CLICK HERE to book a private 1:1 call with her now